Notes from a pandemic

It has been quite some time since I posted on my blog. Over two and half years to be exact. Yikes! It seems the older I get the faster the time goes? How is that possible. I remember being a stay-at-home mom and getting far less sleep and being able to juggle a multitude of tasks. Nowadays I get tired just thinking about what I have to do. So here we are smack in the middle of the 2020 Covid-19 pandemic. And the conspiracy theories and our government briefings are literally making me turn off the tv and walk away from social media or at least unfollow some people. Working remotely from home for the last six weeks has been interesting. I find myself somewhere torn between the blessing to be able to do so and actually missing my workplace that I used to groan and moan when I did work there. Funny how that happens. But for the most part we are staying home to be safe and stay healthy. Going out once a week to grab a few necessary items at the local grocery store. Had I know toilet paper would be the most valuable item that is unable to be found along with antibacterial soap, I certainly would have stocked up. Note to self to definitely do that when I am able or when it is back in stock anyways. So my blog is about the lessons, blessings and laughter. My lessons throughout this crazy time have been learning to be patient, trusting in God and realizing that I can live with so much less than I ever thought I could have in the past. My blessings begin and end with my faith in God, keeping us safe and healthy, having enough to eat and drink and the simple things in life that are so important right now. As far as laughter, yes when my husband came home with toilet paper and paper towels, I shrieked with as much joy as when he used to bring me home a Dunkins iced coffee or a bottle of wine, but times have certainly changed. I keep seeing posts on social media about folks wanting to return to "normal". I believe this happened for a reason. Normal as we knew it was not working. This whole situation happened to stop the brakes on a world of humans who were killing the planet. We were the virus destroying this beautiful world. It is giving us the opportunity to stop and reboot and reflect on the truly important things in life. May we all stay safe and healthy and may the world heal and be better and stronger than ever. Peace my friends! Be well!

Why?

For all of those who are brave enough to speak up and protest against racism, I needed to write this poem:

Why? by Teresa Wright

Ask me why I protest
When you never were taken from your country into a foreign land and sold into slavery
Ask me why I protest
When you never had to worry about the color of your skin
Ask me why I protest
When you never had to fight to have a seat on a bus
Ask me why I protest
When you never had to be segregated
Ask me why I protest
When you never had to worry about your children being feared and hated
Ask me why I protest
When you never had to fight for your rights
Ask me why I protest
When you never had to march to be heard
Ask me why I protest
When you never had to worry about un-equal pay
Ask me why I protest
When you never have to worry that a cop may shoot you because of your color
Ask me why I protest
When you were always free
Ask me why I protest
And I will ask you why racism still exists in this country
Why?

Then and Now

For those like me who were born in the 1960's, just imagine if all we had to do was look something up on the internet...a book to read, information for a term paper, music we wanted to listen to or a movie to watch whenever. On the other hand, we had to go to the library to get our books and information, we had to save up money to buy the record or cassette tape we wanted and if we missed the Wizard of Oz when it came on tv, well we had to wait another year. I am sure there are drawbacks as well, but I am glad for the childhood I had and that I spent it with actual people not devices. Life was simpler and it took more time to do things, but we were better off because of it.

The Art of Letting Go

I have been a creative soul since birth. I enjoyed drawing and coloring when I was young. Then once I got married I was introduced to the crafting world and got my first glue gun! Since then I had tried at least every craft hobby at least once. My favorites have been painting, cross-stitch and scrapbooking. I had a little dream that someday I would have a craft studio in my house so that each time I felt the urge to create, my kitchen table would not look like a disaster. For the most part art or the act of being creative has always been an outlet for me, a stress reliever and even a peaceful meditation. But lately something was different, I was getting craft supplies from friends and my collection of supplies for the first time was overflowing which became overwhelming. Rather than being excited at this windfall, it actually caused me a great deal of stress. I had too much stuff and not enough time to do it all. I could not decide what to make and my creative mojo had left the building. I then noticed other parts of my organized life following suit. I became overwhelmed at the books I brought home from the library book sale. They were lovely and I had the intent to read them, but there they sat on the book shelf every night like a reminder of something else I didn’t have time to do. Finally, my little pantry in my kitchen that is really my hutch began to taunt me as well. You know you have too much of this and too much of that and there are expiration dates on those items! And don’t even get me started on the spices! Which ones hadn’t I used in the last few months and needed to toss? I had no idea! So basically I was in my own little tornado that I myself had created. By praying and asking for abundance, boy did I get abundance. Even a few extra pounds snuck in too-Drat! I realized I was using my creativity in a bad way and creating an anxious environment that was affecting me like never before. I came to the conclusion that I know where the craft store, library and grocery store are located if I need to craft, read or cook. So I cleaned out my pantry and in the process put aside items I will donate to a local thrift store. I took the books I got from the library and gave them to my co-worker who desperately needed some reading material for her Jewish holiday time. I went through my craft items, shared some with friends and donated the rest. I am only keeping enough scrapbooking supplies to finish some scrapbooks and then I am done. The lesson for me was “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”. I am turning 50 soon and want the next 50 years to be a little bit more peaceful and calm and that begins with me. By being creative and alive in the moment, I will get much more out of being creative. I learned the art of letting go and my world didn’t come to a catastrophic end. Instead, it gave me clarity, focus and freedom.

It is better to give, than to receive

When it comes to gifts, is it the thought that counts? Absolutely! If someone is thinking of me in any way, a conversation, a handwritten note or merely a passing thought in their busy day I am thrilled. Any gift that goes along with that is a wonderful added surprise. Spending quality time is another of my favorite “gifts”. However, there does seem to always be two types of people when it comes to gift giving and/ or gift receiving. There are the ones who love being the recipient of a homemade gift because they appreciate the time and effort you took to make it. But, then there are the ones who think you could not think of anything to buy them, so you made something instead. Some people enjoy receiving gift cards while others feel that like cash it seems cold and not thoughtful enough. I have learned the hard way to identify these types and act accordingly, but it is somewhat confusing to me. For instance the folks that think gift cards were insensitive actually give me gift cards? Or I don’t mind if you do not have the money to get something and choose to re-gift something, but please do not re-gift my gift back to me. That is like a present wrapped in an insult. I can’t help wanting to cheer people up and if they cannot identify with the love and thought that goes into it, not sure what to do about that situation. However, I do plan to continue to be as considerate as I can when it comes to gift giving and receiving and hope that on some level, I brighten someone’s day and make them smile.

The Message in the Mess

My blog is all about the lessons and the blessings and more so lately the message in the mess. In mid January, I fell down a flight of cement stairs at work. I actually blacked out and came to when folks were attending to me and telling me not to move. In my 49 years, it was my first ambulance ride and my first broken bone (wrist). I had fallen completely on my right side, so amidst the bleeding, swelling, broken bones and injured pride were many lessons and blessings that would soon unfold. As someone who is a self-proclaimed caregiver who lives her life with the intent of bringing care and kindness to all, I suddenly found myself on the receiving end. Not that I had never received kindness before, but for the first time I was unable to be the giver. As foreign as this was for me to handle, so were the thoughts and words coming out of me. For the first time in my life I literally uttered the words “I would rather be dead!” Not really, of course, and just the thought of what could have happened to me that day stopped me in my tracks…literally and figuratively. The first few weeks were the hardest as I was suddenly in a splint and then a cast and then another cast. I was unable to shower without assistance, unable to use my dominant hand and swollen from my black eye down to my foot. I was scared, concerned and overall just overwhelmed. But then something happened. I let go and let God guide me. I had to learn patience. Not an easy task for someone who has none, well at least none for herself. Then I was blanketed by the kind words, cards, gifts and gestures beyond my wildest comprehension. I began to adapt and adjust to my circumstances and in doing so began the healing process. Then I was informed that a reorganization at my workplace was taking effect and not only was my senior status job position being removed, but with a significant pay cut. Initially shocked, but then I again chose to trust in God’s plan and roll with it. Then another setback occurred. My husband who has been dealing with cervical arthritis suddenly experienced his most excruciating pain and was forced to take some time via short-term disability to see specialists and seek a pain management plan. We were losing money fast. So God doesn’t put you through what you cannot handle, but really? What to do? Sit in worry and fear or trust God. I chose to trust and what happened is nothing less than a miracle. I continued to heal and did not need surgery as I was previously told I would need. Through all of this, my husband and I grew closer. We spent part of the day meditating and reading scripture strengthening our relationship with God and with each other. His neck pain is beginning to lessen and I continue to pray that one day it will be easily managed and/or gone. Did things go wrong during this time? You have no idea! But did we make it through? You bet we did. Was there always just enough money and food? Yes! It was a 44 day experience overall. The biggest lesson and blessing was that we have the strength to get through anything when we let go and let God. I do believe that I was meant to fall that day. I saw myself falling forward but yet didn’t feel the impact of hitting the floor. However, I have felt the impact of this experience. In a sense, I was pushed into this situation in order to be ready for what God has in store for me. There are greater things coming my way. I used to think lessons and blessings were separate things, but this experience has taught me that they are intertwined and that even in a mess there is a message if we allow ourselves to hear it. On a funny note, when you blurt out things to the Universe like “I wished I didn’t have to work and could just stay home!” try to be "very specific"…just saying! ;)

Goodbye 2015...Reflections

I have not posted on my blog in so long and I have no excuses. Like that John Lennon quote “Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans!” So I decided to end 2015 with one last post. Ta-da…see, I meant to procrastinate… really I did…lol I started this blog to write about the lessons and the blessings and there certainly were a lot of them this year. I was blessed to travel with my husband to Niagara Falls to celebrate 32 years since our first date. I was blessed to meet my cousin who lives in California while she was in Massachusetts visiting her grandmother. Her grandmother happens to be my Godmother who is 98…and my superhero! I want to be her when I grow up! Among the blessings were some tough speed bumps...my husband has been suffering from chronic pain which not only makes his everyday living difficult, but also affects the quality of life. He just doesn’t know when it will be a good day or a bad day. So, we are thankful for the good days and try our best to get through the bad ones. For the most part, 2015 has been a peaceful year. Peace of mind and heart. Moreover, my husband and I know how blessed we are to have each other, our daughter and our fuzzy cat-who-thinks-he-is-a-dog Frankie. We have a home, we have food, but most of all we have each other. In these things, we are rich beyond compare and very thankful! 2016 will be an important year for my family. It is hard to believe that my husband and I will both be turning 50! But I cannot imagine spending life with anyone but him. He was my first love and he will be my last love. He is my strength and my best friend! Looking forward to holding hands for whatever else comes along during this adventure called life the next 50 years! Our daughter will be graduating college in May of 2016. She is an amazing human being and we could not be prouder of her. We are so excited to see what the future holds for her! She is a blessing! So as far as goals and inspirations for 2016, here are mine. I will learn patience by being patient with myself. I will remember that just because I have an opinion does not mean I need to voice it (all the time). I will make time each and every day for meditation, creativity and gratitude. I will smile at everyone I meet. Happy New Year!

The Sea of Love

Marriage is like the ocean. When you first fall in love, it is similar to when you see the ocean for the first time. You are in awe at the sight and you can’t imagine your life without it. You visit it frequently. You build your time around it. Everything is amazing! You notice the sparkle of the sun on the waves, the beauty of the seashells and the vibrancy of the sea glass! The feel of the sand on your toes! As time goes on, you still love it, but you get wrapped up in your life and you know where it is, but you don’t give it the same attention. When was the last time you showed appreciation for it? When was the last time you spent time and energy with it? Has it become too rocky for you? Is it too overwhelming? The ocean is not always a calm and gentle place. When a storm hits, the ocean can come smashing down and cause destruction. Riding those waves can seem impossible. But the ocean itself does not break. With each wave that crashes onto the sand, the ocean takes the roughness of the rocks and glass and makes them smooth. Over time, what was once something that you avoided becomes something that you don’t want to let go. Those rough patches of your marriage are just as important as the beautiful moments. The combination of time, attention and appreciation are what makes your marriage your story. No one else’s love story is the same. Only the two of you can write each line and while some chapters are not as exciting or some you would like to skim over and forget completely…take your lessons from the ocean. Enjoy your marriage for all that it is. Remember what brought you to each other. Marriage is hard work, but it can calm you and bring you peace. It is a love you will never experience in any other way. It can be strong and resilient and there is no storm it can’t withstand. There is salt in the water and salt in our tears. But when the sun shines on it, look at it sparkle!

Embracing Modesty

In this fast paced world in which we live in, our kids are growing up too fast. Innocence has gone by the wayside with exposure to whatever our kids can download to their phone or tablet. It is sad to see young girls wearing makeup far too early. When I was in high school, most girls didn’t start to wear makeup until they were around sixteen and even then it was more about wearing lip gloss than anything else. Take a stroll through any mall store and you will see that the choices for clothing for our young girls are far from modest. When I see the photos on Facebook of teen girls attending their school dances in strapless dresses that barely cover much else, it doesn’t take rocket science to figure out that something is drastically wrong with the message we are conveying to our children. When you look at a picture of a girl in a dress and wonder how in the world will she be able to sit in that dress without showing the world what only her doctor should see, then that is a problem. Hello! Lightbulb moment! It all begins at home. By instilling values and morals from a young age, our children understand the importance of embracing things such as respect and modesty. Too many kids nowadays feel the peer pressure to fit into what society seems to think they should be. Just because we live in a country where women are not forced to cover up including their faces while in public does not mean that our girls need to dress inappropriately to show our freedom. Girls taking scantily clad selfies and posting to Facebook for the internet world to view is just wrong. Even the kissy face selfies are sending the wrong message. You attract what you put out into the world. Our girls need to know that they are beautiful on the inside and on the outside. They don’t need to wear makeup or dress sexy to be more beautiful. You know what they need to be more beautiful? They need a smile on their face. Your smile is what you want people to remember you for, not how short is your skirt or how low is your shirt.

Mother Teresa said "We can do no great things, only small things with great love!"

We all tend to get caught up in our own worlds most days that we cannot see those in the world who are truly suffering. We get to shower every day. We get to eat three meals and snacks. We drink fancy coffee. We wear clean clothes. But what if suddenly the most basic of life's needs were taken away. Every time I go to visit my daughter at college, I see homeless folks panhandling for money. What to do? Throw a few dollars their way or drive by and try not to look them in the eyes to see their pain? We say what difference can one person make? But one person can make all the difference in a person's life. But we have to step outside of our own world to see those who need help. If just one person, helped one other person we could create the chain reaction of love and hope that would help change the world for the better. Suddenly our silly problems and complaints would have no justification. At this time of Lent when some are choosing to give something up, I am choosing to do something different by adding things to do instead. I am making the effort to take the money I would normally spend on coffee and food in my work cafeteria and I am choosing to put it to better use. I am taking that money and using it to purchase health and beauty supplies, socks, gloves and food to create "Blessing Bags" for the homeless. How easy would it be to just buy a few trial sized items on your next visit to the pharmacy. Or when you go to Walmart, but a package of socks. You get clean socks every day, but there are some that are not that fortunate. It is not the big things we do that make the most impact. It is the small things. Start small. We can all do something. The point is to do something. We are more blessed that we know and we can share some of that blessing with others. I read somewhere that a fifty dollar bill is still a fifty dollar bill even if it is crumpled up and dirty. Human beings are the same...would you want to be loved any less because you came upon hard times and found yourself struggling for the most basic of life's needs such as food and shelter. Please start today. We can be the change we want to see in the world! Let's do this together! Blessings!

Happy New Year!

Today is New Year’s Eve - Time to say goodbye to 2014! As I look back on the year, there were many blessings and lessons learned. I met up with two grammar school classmates whose friendships I now count among my many blessings. Our connection is familiar and I would not be surprised at all if we have traveled lifetimes together. They are my earth angels! I also cherish the lifelong friendships I have maintained over the years and am glad those friends are in my life still. Thankful for my daughter and husband as this journey would not be nearly as exciting or fulfilling without them. This year, I sadly have seen my dad spiral downward struggling with mental illness, addiction, coupled with grief from my mother’s death two years ago and short term memory loss. It is so frustrating to watch someone you love fight this never-ending battle that lives within them. Stressful, stressful, stressful…and no matter what you do it is like watching a train wreck in slow motion. I pray for peace of mind and heart for him, for those he is in contact with and for my sister and our families. It is not an easy road to travel. I often wonder why this is his journey and ours. I can only think that it is what it is and he is here to teach us patience, tolerance and understanding. To love him despite his issues while maintaining a healthy distance and setting boundaries is a daily struggle. I learned a lot about myself this year as well. I am allowing myself to break from old traditions and what I thought I enjoyed and instead permitting myself to experiencing new things. I used to love to read, and while I would probably still enjoy a good story, I am choosing instead to live my own story and to be present in my life instead of reading about someone else’s. After Thanksgiving, I also made a life change choice to give up eating meat and animal fat and concentrate on a plant-based diet. I am currently working on removing dairy products and sugar. I did not realize that by eating meat and processed foods that I thought were healthy that I was causing myself to have major health issues and inflammation. It has only been a little over a month and I feel so much healthier and have lost weight and inches which has been a struggle in my adult years. I plan to continue to educate myself about the food I put in my body and cannot wait to see the results at this time next year! My resolutions for 2015 are fairly simple. I plan to laugh, smile, love and live more! Happy New Year to all! Love, Teresa

I turned around and it was November!

Oh dear, October was so busy at work and with my birthday celebrations that lasted all month (fun!)...I literally turned around and it was November. I am sorry for not posting anything lately and with the upcoming holidays I will now be taking my annual holiday leave from my blog until the New Year. Happy Holidays and blessings to all! See you in 2015!

Learning to Cope

I sometimes hear parents say “I just want you to be happy” to their children. I hear other parents say that a good spanking will teach respect. Let me begin by saying I do not agree with either of these beliefs. Trying to make your children happy all the time, will give you an adult child who is frustrated because their life is complicated and they do not know how to deal with it. Spanking in my opinion, only teaches children that it is okay for a grown up to harm them. It does not teach respect, it teaches fear. It all begins when they are young. They cry and we want to stop their sadness. They throw a tantrum in the grocery store and we immediately remove them from the situation. Whether they get hurt or they do the hurting, they are learning. Children are learning and look to us for guidance. We need to teach them to cope. You cannot be happy all of the time, and you set your child up to fail by the desire to make it all better for them all of the time. We all experience joy, happiness and love. But we also experience sadness, disappointment, anger and grief. Without acknowledging these feelings as being just as important as happiness, we give our children a great disadvantage in life. We have given them the expectation that everything will work out and run smoothly throughout their whole lifetime, but haven’t given them the tools to make it work out. Only by teaching them to cope with every emotion, can we honestly say we have done a good job in giving them the foundation they need to get through life. By promoting only happiness, we have set them up to fail. I, like everyone else, fell into that habit in the beginning of my parenting, but having a child that had her own different needs taught me the lessons I need to learn about life not always being pleasant and happy. Emotion is energy in motion, and we have to equip our children with the tools they need to understand and deal with every one of them. Life is messy, but it is also a beautiful, intricate, sometimes exhausting but also exhilarating experience. And when you learn to navigate it rather than always trying to be “happy”, it is a more fulfilling experience.

The love of a pet

There is something about me that not many people know. I love to write poetry. My first published poem was right after I had given birth to my daughter and the poem was about her. There is something so deep and meaningful when a poem is written. It is like a piece of your soul. Life has become very busy and it has literally been a year since I have written a poem. As with life itself, I don’t necessarily follow the “rules”. My poetry comes from my inner self and sporadically I feel the need to write a poem. When that happens, I write it verbatim as it comes into my thoughts. I never change it or correct it. It is the rawest form of expression and I leave it as such. Today I was prompted to write this poem and I hope that you like it:



The love of a pet

(Dedicated to those who have loved and lost a pet)

The love of a pet is like no other we will ever know

Unconditional their love flows freely to us each day

And all they ever ask of us is to be loved in return

To be cuddled and cared for in each and every way

They wake us with kitty cat paws and doggy wet kisses

And greet us with unbridled joy at the end of the day

They are family, friend and companion all in one

They teach us to trust and they teach us to play

Sadly, pets only stay a short while here on Earth

They are waiting in heaven for us to join them one day

And what a day that will be when we see them again

Greeted by furry hugs and kisses where together we will stay

All of God’s creatures are special and unique for sure

But the love of a pet will remain with you and never go away

Onward we go

We all have days that sometimes seem like they last for weeks, months, years, who knows (insert Eeeyore’s voice). We are on this planet swirling around in space and it is constantly changing, yet sometimes we feel stuck. If we live in the past, we stay on the path of regrets with should-a, could-a, would-a thoughts. If we worry too much about the future, we live in constant “well what if…then” thoughts. It has taken me most of my life to realize we only really have today and sometimes really only this very moment. Being the first to admit, life to me was the equivalent of someone learning how to become a flying trapeze artist. The fear of leaving the platform (past) coupled with the fear of crashing to the ground (future) is scarier than actually letting go and living in the moment (now). When you live in the moment, it frees your soul and allows you to truly feel alive. We all have speed bumps, walls we have to climb and people and places we need to leave behind in order to get to where we need to be. But that is what life is all about. It’s not about standing still. Life is about learning and growing. Leave the past behind and take that first step forward. You will be glad that you did!

Why fit in when you can stand out!

Eclectic by definition is selecting what appears to be best in various doctrines, methods, or styles. The word “eclectic” may as well be my middle name…but I will stick with “Celina” as that sounds prettier. From my taste in music, art, fashion, cooking, politics and dare I say it…even spirituality, I am not someone that fits the so called cookie cutter genre of anything.

If you look at my playlist right now, you would see Classic Rock, Country, Broadway Show Tunes, Classical, New Age and Christian music! I don’t like all of these types of music all of the time, but sometimes I like to listen to any one of these. Just not Heavy Metal, Reggae or Jazz…that is like nails on a chalkboard to me! Ugh!

Art, well yes my desire to create goes all over the map too. You definitely won’t find me sitting only knitting or crocheting (but kudo’s to those that can or that enjoy the feel of wool- I am itching just thinking about it!) But I love to use mixed medias implementing different methods and styles together to create something beautiful!

Fashion, let's just say the something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue still applies!

My cooking goes without saying. My family loves my creations, but when they ask for the recipe they know that I will say there isn’t one. I have learned enough about the skill of cooking to create things using a little of this and a little of that, a pinch here, a dash there…yeah that’s is how I roll and I haven’t heard a complaint yet!

Politics is a touchy subject…you can mention super private stuff on social media and nobody blinks, but egads dare you speak on a political subject and you will suffer the wrath of those who disagree with your outlook. I don’t like political labels, but I will say that I am more liberal than I could ever be conservative. But I do believe that as with most things, there are layers to the problems and to the solutions of this world, and maybe if we didn’t think in an “either or” manner, we could actually change the world for good.

Spirituality is another subject you aren’t really allowed to talk about or have an opinion about. However, growing up Catholic and my life experiences have shown me that I do not believe in organized religion or anything run as a corporation or a business. I enjoy learning and letting life’s moments allow me to grow spiritually. For me it means believing in God, developing an ongoing personal connection with that higher power and having faith that everything I do is for my own higher good.

So while some may argue that it is because I can’t make a decision about things. I prefer to look at my thought process as being “open-minded” and enjoying the whole experience. Imagine going on a hike and only staying on one trail. You are not having the same experience as if you revisit that hill or mountain and go in a different direction, see and feel other things, maybe even climb to the top and get an entirely different prospective all together. Call it “eclectic”, call it thinking without walls or boundaries but that is me. Life is a journey and whether you go in one direction or twenty, you arrive at the same destination…I prefer to take the scenic route!

Fifty will be nifty...that is my story and I am sticking to it!

My husband “lovingly” reminded me that I am almost 50…um NO…I am 47 you jerk...I mean honey...LOL

But, it did get me thinking about setting some goals for myself that will be met in the next few years. Being the OCD freak that I am I have categorized them into three categories: Body, Mind and Soul

Body
• I will continue to cook and eat healthier • I will grow my hair long • I will lose fifty pounds…more is fine…but fifty would be lovely • I will stress less • I will walk more than I sit

Mind
• I will creatively write, paint, craft and scrapbook more often • I will create my art studio • I will do more and think less • I will use my digital camera and complete the projects that have only been in my mind

Soul
• I will learn Reiki • I will meditate more frequently • I will practice yoga more frequently • I will visit the sea more often

I have confidence that I will meet all of these goals and looking forward to turning “50” in a few years and being in the best shape, body, mind and soul that I have been in my whole life. Then it will be time to create new goals for the next fifty years!

Be Happy!

You've got a friend...or do you?

What do you do when you have a one-sided friendship? Is it only one-sided because you have too many expectations that you never voiced? Are your expectations the real cause of your stress and anxiety? Should you really have to express your needs to a genuine friend or should there just be certain things a good friend should just know? Should you have no expectations at all, therefore never get disappointed? When a friendship is so incredibly difficult is it worth having? I think about these questions far too often… I think expectations are good, and of course can be changed as life changes our needs and perceptions. Granted, there is no really cookie cutter expectation, but I do believe there are some that should just occur between really good friends. For instance, you should stay in touch so that when one of you is going through really bad times, your friend can and should be right there offering emotional support. If there is a death, that friend should not only be supportive but also show up on your doorstep. You should be considered in the good times and remembered on your birthday. You should want to spend time with each other and actually make it happen without excuses. Life’s moments should be shared with friends. When none of these things occur, I begin to question the “friendship” and that is when I say okay with “so-and-so” I cannot expect this or that. Perhaps with her/him I can only go to a movie or grab a quick bite to eat out now and then. Those are what I consider friendships in small doses because it seems like that is all they can give. I think my problem is that for so long, I had placed the same simple expectations on all my friends, but only a few actually met them. Over the years, I have learned to categorize my friendships. I realized that while they were all beneficial to my growth as a person, they are as different as the people themselves. Relationships with people are not easy, if they were I am pretty sure there would be peace in the world. Of course, there are also people who have social challenges. They need to have it all laid out for them about what the expectations are in the friendship on a continuing basis. Life has taught me that your heart has room for all the friendships you develop in your life. If you are “both” willing to work at it the friendships can grow and become what will benefit both participants. If, however, you realize the friendship is one sided and/or toxic, you need to express your needs, create emotional boundaries or walk away.

Measure your life in love

I saw a Mother’s Day quiz on Facebook that asked you to describe your mother in one word. That would be easy for me. I would describe my mother as “LOVE”. A year ago, my mother was struggling to survive during her last week of her life. The experience of the last four months of her life and her eventual death was the most traumatic of my life. It was full of every emotion a person can endure and yet it was also full of many blessings and lessons. The most important lesson was that while we are here on earth we should love one another, when we pass from this life our soul lives on and our love remains. The song “Seasons of Love” from Rent comes to mind and I wanted to share the lyrics in today’s blog post:

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes

Five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets

In midnights, in cups of coffee

In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife

In five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure, a year in the life?

How about love?

How about love?

How about love?

Measure in love

Seasons of love(love)

Seasons of love(love)

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes

Five hundred twenty five thousand journeys to plan

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?

In truths that she learned

Or in times that he cried

In bridges he burned or the way that she died

It's time now, to sing out

Though the story never ends

Let's celebrate

Remember a year in the life of friends

Remember the love

(Oh, you got to, you got to remember the love)

Remember the love

(You know that love is a gift from up above)

Remember the love

(Share love, give love, spread love)

Measure in love

(Measure, measure your life in love)

Seasons of love

Seasons of love

(Measure your life, measure your life in love)

Lenten Sabbatical

I am taking a Lenten sabbatical from Facebook and my blog. My daughter will be home for Spring Break soon and besides spending time with her, I am taking time for me. I have plans of reading, crafting and playing with my brand new camera. See you all again in April!