Sabbatical

Hello friends, I am taking a little bit of a sabbatical from my blog until the end of the year. Taking some me time to get some things accomplished before the holiday season. Stay well and I will see you at the beginning of 2014! Keep Smiling! :)

Pick a song, any song...

My daughter recently was auditioning for her college musical and had a bad case of the stage fright. She explained that she couldn’t control it and when it happened it affected her breathing which of course affected her singing. I started to think about how this is relative to other areas of life. When we let fear enter the party before us and it brings its friend anxiety, then nothing good can come from that. How to handle the fear is another story all together. Some people practice breathing. I know it sounds silly but when you actually pay attention to how you are breathing, it can be quite calming. Meditation is another way to go. You can do this even in a crowd of people by repeating your mantra to yourself. Eventually you will clear your mind and be able to concentrate with the task or situation at hand. I used to be incredibly shy and scared to speak in public. I had to learn to find my voice and turn that fear into determination. What I do is to think of one song in particular and I play the song in my head while picturing the calming waves of the ocean reaching the sand. I swear that I have even done that at the doctor’s office and my blood pressure which used to be high has been perfect. Anxiety is not something to take lightly though and I understand it can reach debilitating levels, but like everything else sometimes you have to try new ways to deal with it. Not all of us have auditions every day, but the stage of life can be quite gnarly and the unknown is always frightening. There is always a line of a song that will relate to any situation you are struggling with, so I say “turn it up” and let the power of music do its thing! Oh and don't forget to breathe! Keep Smiling! :)

One Community...September

One Community is a monthly photo project in which participants photograph their homes and community with a theme in mind. The theme varies by month. The goal is to both showcase similarities and differences in our communities worldwide – and bring us all closer together in understanding through art. This month’s themes are:

WORK
GOLD
CENTERPIECE
BALANCE

WORK: This cubicle is my home away from home and where I spend the majority of my day. I get to assist school districts all over the United States get federal reimbursement to assist their special education programs. I love my work.

GOLD: My mother's bread recipe. Each time I make it, it brings back memories of my childhood and of her. The golden color reminds me of her sunny personality!

CENTERPIECE: I recently created this eucalyptus swag centerpiece for a co-worker. I love to be creative! It feeds my soul!

BALANCE: As a Libra, I am always trying to create balance. Working full time, being married and having a daughter in college makes it challenging. However, when I really feel out of balance, a trip to the ocean is just the fix! Something about the calming effects of the sea sets me straight!


One Community participants include:

Sarah Sarah is a life-long Missourian who shares her home with her husband, two sons, and an old grumpy dachshund. Like every good Midwesterner, she can (and will) talk to you at length about the weather. Sarah blogs at www.beautyschooldropout.net

Colleen lives with her handsome hubster and two feisty felines in Portland, Oregon. She loves rain and sun (in that order), words and pictures, and chatting up the neighbors. She blogs at www.underaredroof.com

Rebekah lives in Kilkenny, Ireland with her husband. An American by birth, she's discovering what it means to be an expat on the Emerald Isle. She blogs at Honeysuckle Life

Kara is a cheerful nerd living in downtown Phoenix, AZ with her law-studying husband and an anxious pound puppy. She works full time in the mental health field but in her off time enjoys sunshine, great food and the occasional craft beer. www.sunshine-cupcakes.com Wife and Mom to a houseful of boys in sunny San Diego; word geek and all-kinds-of writer; maker of things both creative and useful.

Sue is now blogging again at nobaddays.wordpress.com

Teresa lives in Massachusetts with her husband, college aged daughter and two crazy cats. She is a creative spirit who tries to find the lesson, blessing and humor in everything and she blogs at http://laughteramongtears.blogspot.com

Kelli lives in Phoenix with her dog, Willie Nelson Mandela. She is a novelist, public health advocate and United Methodist. She blogs at: www.africankelli.com

Stephanie is a lifelong Wyomingite with ranch girl roots. She has her own marketing and graphic design business and in her free time, she enjoys knitting, fishing with her boyfriend, and team roping. She blogs at www.nowicanseethemoon.co

Eduarda Schroder is a curious, visual creature who believes all pictures tell a story. She hails from Mozambique, via Portugal and NJ, and now is desert rate living with her husband and two teenage daughters in Chandler, AZ http://of-blue.blogspot.com

Honestly...where is the honesty?

Maybe it is my morals and ethics, which like everyone goes into a gray area now and then. And we all have had a person or persons who have been dishonest in our lives. When this happens I always wonder why someone would choose to lie over being honest. What are their motives? Are they lying because they don't want to hurt you? That doesn't make sense because eventually the truth will be discovered and you are hurt ten times more. Are they lying because they just cannot deal with telling the truth? I think this is a more accurate revelation. Unfortunately, this also just causes more turmoil and more confusion. I recently was lied point blank in the face by someone I never expected to do so. So instead of focusing on the lie itself, I came to realize that I had clearly misread this person as being trustworthy. The lesson for me was knowing that and with that knowledge came the wisdom that this person was not the type of person I could ever fully trust again. This was incredibly difficult for me as then I started to question everything this person had ever said to me. And eventually the person discovered that I knew the truth all along, and then didn't even try to apologize or reason with me. That made me realize that this person could no longer be in my life. Even though being honest can be scary, it is always the way to go. Someone will probably always get hurt, but as time goes by they will respect you more for being truthful. The truth may hurt temporarily, but lies are forever. And that's the truth...Keep Smiling! :)

Letting go

This has been a heavy year of letting go for me. My daughter was at her first year of living at college. My mother passed away which completely devastated me. I have had to step away from my dad who is battling his own demons along with the grief over losing my mother. A friend and co-worker of mine left to take another job. Another lifelong friend decides to move away and does not even tell me because goodbyes are too hard. Throughout all of this, I am reminded of the frailty of life and the importance to make each moment count. When people you have had around you for so long are no longer there, it can be quite shocking to the system. What do I do now? How do I fill this void in my life? Did I do enough, did I say enough, do they really know how much they meant to me? And most of all did I make a positive impact on their lives? I know they certainly impacted my life in a good way or it wouldn’t hurt so much that they are no longer in it. My heart holds them close, but I have to let them go. I have faith that someday we will all be together again in one way or another. And I can only hope that when they left my life, they took the love I have for them with them. Until we meet again... Keep Smiling! :)

Change is good...right?

Some people fear change. Usually, I tend to embrace it. Recent changes have knocked me for a loop and completely off guard. It’s when change creates an upheaval in your life and emotions that you never experienced seem to surface that I find most difficult. I start asking myself the “who, what, where, when and why” questions. And to be honest it has consumed me to the point where my OCD kicks in and then I “think, think, think”, then I “feel, feel, feel” and “cry, cry, cry”. I am trying to find the lesson in it all. I know that when a little bit of time passes, I will know that all of these changes are for the best and my faith in the universe will be restored. All in all, change is necessary to turn us in the direction we need to follow. Taking some deep breathes and hoping for the best. Keep Smiling!

The Friendship Puzzle

Life relationships are puzzling aren't they? Take friendships for instance. As life goes on and we form bonds with different people, we tend to move away from friends we had before. I think this is a necessary part of life as sometimes you become friends with someone due to circumstance. Maybe you met them in school, work or church. Maintaining these types of friendships becomes difficult when the dynamics of life change. Don’t get me wrong, I have a couple of friends who I don’t see for long periods of time and when we finally reconnect it is as though no time has passed. Those are the lifelong friends with who I will always feel a connection. Then there are those people in your lives who no matter how hard you try to maintain the connection, you find that it not only got bent, but it actually broke. It's frustrating like having puzzle pieces that do not fit. You kind of have to ask yourself if they are not willing to meet you half way, perhaps that friendship has met its expiration date. That has been a personal struggle for me…still visiting the well when the well has run dry. But happily, when you are no longer wasting your time and energy on these so-called friends, it opens up the opportunity to find authentic friends. Friendship should never ever be difficult. If I feel like the relationship is forced, it is so not longer worth my effort. Real friends accept you and lift you up, not drag you around. They are there to celebrate the highs and to comfort you in the lows. If you have found real friends in life, it is like finding the puzzle pieces that fit and allow you to see the whole picture. Keep Smiling! :)

But I just want to (fix) help you ....

Recently I had heard the words "everyone is exactly where they need to be". What?!? Say it ain't so...lol But after my thought process kicked in (with the help of coffee), I realized the truth in that statement. Where I have difficulty is when I see people struggling in their journey and my initial instinct is to help them. This may be OCD or it could be my kind, generous heart...not really sure. I am not about to say "do not help people", but there are more subtle ways to "help". Of course the first way is to pray for them. It's easy and it doesn't take much of your time. And you do not have to be a churchgoer to pray or to be spiritual. A similar way is to send love and energy and light by visualizing it traveling from you to them. If you are a visual learner such as myself this is the way to go. Of course, another way is to show by example. By living your own authentic self, others will see this and when they are ready will make the changes they need to make. As I mentioned before, my gut instinct is to help others with their struggles. If someone is starving, you want to feed them. If they are drowning, you want to save them. But unfortunately, if they are not yet ready to be helped then you are banging your head against a wall and draining your energy supply. Even though you yourself may be a great place in your mind and heart and you want those struggling to have the same experience, you can't always change what journey they are on to learn what they need to learn. We are all here on this Earth for a different experience and someone else's path is not the same as yours even though our destination is the same. Obstacles and struggles are there for a reason. They are life's speed bumps. By trying to help someone who doesn't want the help, you have now become the obstacle in the lesson they need to learn and they may even resent you for it. So basically, do not give up on your quest to help others in need, just change how you go about it. Letting go of what isn't working is the first step. Take a few steps back, re-group your thoughts and intentions. For every person who is skeptical or unwilling to step out of their suffering, there are ten others who will be open to the love and energy you send their way. We are all a work in progress. Keep Smiling! :)

One Community - August

One Community is a monthly photo project in which participants photograph their homes and community with a theme in mind. The theme varies by month. The goal is to both showcase similarities and differences in our communities worldwide – and bring us all closer together in understanding through art. This month’s themes are:

ICE CREAM
BRIGHT
NUMBERS
SPLASH

ICE CREAM: Nothing says summer like ice cream. Our favorite ice cream place is called “Swirls and Scoops” and we wait every year for the countdown to begin as they are only open from April until Labor Day! That is probably a good thing…lol…but it does make it a special treat for the summer!

BRIGHT: Just as the day was getting cloudier and cloudier and we thought rain would be coming…the sky opened up and there it was….the brightest thing I know…the sun!

NUMBERS: Isn’t it amazing to think that just a few numbers on a piece of paper could be as life changing as those on a winning Powerball ticket. I didn’t win with this ticket, but I hear the jackpot is now up to $400 million. My head cannot even wrap around that number. It is fun to think about though, What would you do if you won? I would build a farmhouse with a giant wrap-around porch surrounded by acres and acres of land and my husband and I would live the rest of our lives in peace and tranquility…sounds like a plan!

SPLASH: I love to go to my local Dunkin Donuts and get my beverage of choice which is iced coffee with extra cream and a “splash” of raspberry flavoring. Rasberry was my mom’s favorite flavor and when I am having a day when missing her is really hard, I combine my favorite drink with her favorite flavor it makes me smile!


One Community participants include:

Sarah is a life-long Missourian who shares her home with her husband, one (soon to be 2) son(s), and an old grumpy dachshund. Like every good Midwesterner, she can (and will) talk to you at length about the weather. Sarah blogs at www.beautyschooldropout.net

Colleen lives with her handsome hubster and two feisty felines in Portland, Oregon. She loves rain and sun (in that order), words and pictures, and chatting up the neighbors. She blogs at www.underaredroof.com

Rebekah lives in Kilkenny, Ireland with her husband. An American by birth, she's discovering what it means to be an expat on the Emerald Isle. She blogs at Honeysuckle Life

Kara is a cheerful nerd living in downtown Phoenix, AZ with her law-studying husband and an anxious pound puppy. She works full time in the mental health field but in her off time enjoys sunshine, great food and the occasional craft beer. www.sunshine-cupcakes.com Wife and Mom to a houseful of boys in sunny San Diego; word geek and all-kinds-of writer; maker of things both creative and useful.

Sue is now blogging again at nobaddays.wordpress.com

Teresa lives in Massachusetts with her husband, college aged daughter and two crazy cats. She is a creative spirit who tries to find the lesson, blessing and humor in everything and she blogs at http://laughteramongtears.blogspot.com

Kelli lives in Arizona with her dog, Willie Nelson Mandela, and her boyfriend, Dutch. A native Arizonan, she is enamored by the lush landscape, and looking to build community. She is a novelist, public health advocate and United Methodist. She blogs at: www.africankelli.com

Stephanie is a lifelong Wyomingite with ranch girl roots. She has her own marketing and graphic design business and in her free time, she enjoys knitting, fishing with her boyfriend, and team roping. She blogs at www.nowicanseethemoon.co

Eduarda Schroder is a curious, visual creature who believes all pictures tell a story. She hails from Mozambique, via Portugal and NJ, and now is desert rate living with her husband and two teenage daughters in Chandler, AZ http://of-blue.blogspot.com

Enjoying the ride of life!

I'm picking up good vibrations...No, there isn’t an earthquake going on, well not really. I do feel like my life has been shaken up a bit lately. That sometimes happens when you are kind of stuck in the same routine. Then suddenly you do one thing out of the ordinary and your life takes on a different tone. I do also believe that even when something bad happens and you go over the speed bump, there is a blessing on the other end. Life is all about the experience…enjoy the ride...it’s all good! Good, good, good, good vibrations…Keep Smiling! :)

Closed doors and open windows

When things need to change, one thing that we should always remember is that when a door closes a window of opportunity opens. I have been watching people my whole life bang on that closed door, try to unlock it, sit on the floor next to the door waiting for it to reopen. All the while, they just need to step away and notice that there is another option. Fear causes anxiety not change. Change happens because what you have been doing is no longer helping you reach your higher good. Embrace change and realize that something better is waiting for you outside that window. Keep Smiling! :)

One Community

One Community is a monthly photo project in which participants photograph their homes and community with a theme in mind. The theme varies by month. The goal is to both showcase similarities and differences in our communities worldwide – and bring us all closer together in understanding through art. This month’s themes are:

Nostalgia
Season
Celebrate
Red, White, Blue

NOSTALGIA: I am lucky to live in a community where historic properties provide both nostalgia and current purpose. The Asa Waters Mansion is one of those places. Some of history’s prominent people who once visited the Asa Waters Mansion are Daniel Webster, Henry Clay, President William Howard Taft and Alexander Graham Bell. The mansion is used for many functions to this day including weddings. Our children gather around its gazebo for photographing at prom time each year.

SEASON: Nothing says summer like the views from my own backyard. The sparkling water amidst the green trees and watching the parade of geese and ducks go by is a view I am blessed to see everyday in the summertime.

CELEBRATE: My little town of Millbury MA recently celebrated its bicentennial. It is a quiet town where any day of the week you can travel through Main Street and have barely any traffic.

RED, WHITE, AND BLUE: A beautiful arrangement of red, white and blue flowers found at my local Walmart. It just proves that you do not need to go to a fancy florist to enjoy a festive array of patriotic flowers!

One Community participants include:
Sarah is a life-long Missourian who shares her home with her husband, one (soon to be 2) son(s), and an old grumpy dachshund. Like every good Midwesterner, she can (and will) talk to you at length about the weather. Sarah blogs at www.beautyschooldropout.net.
Colleen lives with her handsome hubster and two feisty felines in Portland, Oregon. She loves rain and sun (in that order), words and pictures, and chatting up the neighbors. She blogs at:www.underaredroof.com
Rebekah lives in Kilkenny, Ireland with her husband. An American by birth, she's discovering what it means to be an expat on the Emerald Isle. She blogs at Honeysuckle Life.
Kara is a cheerful nerd living in downtown Phoenix, AZ with her law-studying husband and an anxious pound puppy. She works full time in the mental health field but in her off time enjoys sunshine, great food and the occasional craft beer. www.sunshine-cupcakes.com
Wife and Mom to a houseful of boys in sunny San Diego; word geek and all-kinds-of writer; maker of things both creative and useful. Sue is now blogging again at nobaddays.wordpress.com.
Teresa lives in Massachusetts with her husband, college aged daughter and two crazy cats. She is a creative spirit who tries to find the lesson, blessing and humor in everything and she blogs at http://laughteramongtears.blogspot.com/
Kelli lives in New Jersey with her dog, Willie Nelson Mandela, and her boyfriend, Dutch. A native Arizonan, she is enamored by the lush landscape, and looking to build community. She is a novelist, public health advocate and United Methodist. She blogs at: www.africankelli.com
Stephanie is a lifelong Wyomingite with ranch girl roots. She has her own marketing and graphic design business and in her free time, she enjoys knitting, fishing with her boyfriend, and team roping. She blogs at: www.nowicanseethemoon.co
Eduarda Schroder is a curious, visual creature who believes all pictures tell a story. She hails from Mozambique, via Portugal and NJ, and now is desert rate living with her husband and two teenage daughters in Chandler, AZ. http://of-blue.blogspot.com/

Oh no she didn’t…

The frenzy over Paula Dean’s admittance to using a racial slur got me thinking. Growing up in sixties and seventies, I think a lot of us were subjected to our elders making some off color joke remark about pretty much anything. Having said that, I feel that with the world the way it is nowadays that really shouldn’t exist anymore but clearly it still does. Most recently someone on Facebook commented that the world is too sensitive? I don’t happen to agree with that statement. Why is it considered okay by some to belittle or make fun of someone’s race, gender, religion, nationality, hair color, sexual preference…I could go on and on…and consider it a “joke”? The only problem with those “jokes” is that they are always at someone’s expense. One has to wonder what level of low self-esteem someone has to think that type of joking is okay when realistically it is basically a verbal slap in the face. I can only imagine how bad these joke-sters really feel inside that they have to make fun of others in order to feel better themselves. Laughing at yourself is one thing, but laughing at others is just a form of bullying. Growing up in a Polish family, I cannot tell you how many times people felt obligated to say a Polish joke around me. Oh did I mention that my hair was blonde when I was younger, well then along came the blonde jokes too. And then when I felt offended was told to “lighten up”! Well I did lighten up, I chose to promote kindness instead. It’s too heavy a load to bear to think that you make other people feel badly and feel no shame for it. I am proud of the fact that my husband and I raised our daughter to be accepting of everyone’s differences and embrace them rather than criticize them. Getting back to Paula Dean, whether it was a one time use of a racial slur or something she is trying to say falls under the umbrella of being “southern”, she was irresponsible. When you become a celebrity and spokesperson of not only a television network but name brand companies including your own, there is responsibility that goes along with it. Of course we can forgive and forget, but let this be a lesson to all of us. Whether we are in the limelight, in our little hometowns or with family and friends, use your words wisely and if you can’t say something nice…don’t say anything at all! Imagine what would happen if we replaced those “jokes” with words of kindness. Hmmm…now there is a thought! Keep Smiling! :)

Taprooting positivity

Taproot by definition is about going deep and creating a strong root by which other roots develop and branch outward. Dandelions are plants that taproot. I think this is a great exercise to do with our soul. Sometimes in our lives there are circumstances that make us feel overwhelmed and lost, not sure which direction to go in. Sometimes all it takes is to stop, be still and let the positive take root. Soon you will notice that what used to bother you has taken on a different appearance. You will be calmer and more at peace. You will begin to attract positive people and situations to you. Just like a field of dandelions, the positivity will flourish. Do you remember as a child blowing the seeds off a dandelion and watching them fly away. I read once where it is folklore that the seeds of a dandelion send your hopes and dreams to your loved one. Be strong and determined like the dandelion and taproot your soul. Spread the positive vibe! Keep Smiling! :)

Mirroring the real me

Did you ever notice that as we evolve and grow that there are some folks in our lives who still see us a certain way? It’s as though whatever memory they have of us is stuck like a needle on a record player (yes I am aging myself here). Then when you get together with this person you realize they don’t really know the real you. I have had this happen over and over again with family members and friends. I find it frustrating but also challenging because it usually gives me the opportunity to take a look inside and see what I am really showing the world. I have read that what you are shown is a mirror of what you are truly doing, feeling or showing. Now that is a scary thought isn't it? Just think now about the folks who rub you the wrong way or are downright nasty. Could it be that something we are afraid of or that we are putting out there in the universe is coming back to us in some weird cosmic way? Nevertheless, as I continue to get through the process of losing a loved one, I am left with these thoughts. What kind of legacy will I leave behind? How will I be remembered? I hope that with each passing day I choose to live as authentically as I can, so that one day folks will say “she was kind and understanding”. Sounds like a plan! Keep Smiling! :)

Retraining my inner voice

Lately, I find myself surrounded by a great group of positive influential women. Through them and their positivity I have learned to retrain my inner voice. You know what I mean...That little voice that makes you fear and question every decision you make. Yes that one. For years that voice filled me with fear and anxiety. Worrying that I would not succeed at a goal I set, so I stopped setting goals. Worrying about what people would think about me, so I wrapped myself in a cocoon. The only problem was that I was stuck in that cocoon with that little voice-eek! What I have been learning all along, but finally stopped for a moment to discover is that you truly do attract what you put out in the universe. So if you are feeling negative and worrisome, guess what happens...the universe sends toxic folks your way and gives you things to worry about. If you let fear stop you, guess what happens...you stop. So why could not the opposite be true. If you start each day with positive thoughts and share them with others, then you attract positive things. If you set small goals and succeed, you change and evolve. I no longer feel like I am in a prison that I myself created. I feel free and I feel like I have a lot to offer the world in terms of friendship, support and understanding. I feel like I can set a goal and follow through and succeed. I don't know why it took me so long to get here, but I am finally here and that inner voice is now singing...loudly! Keep Smiling! :)

This is just temporary...

Have you heard the Carrie Underwood song called "Temporary Home" The chorus goes... This is our temporary home, it's not where we belong Windows and rooms that we're passing through This is just a stop on the way to where we're going I'm not afraid because I know This is our temporary home I was thinking about this while at the dentist. My dentist was asking me about how I have been doing since my mom passed. We got into the conversation about how amazing it is that this life is just a temporary stop on our journey. But in the mean time, she said take care of your teeth, so I had to get my tooth filled...lol I then thought about how we will leave our temporary home. I equate it to how people go to the beach or a wherever you have been for a day and how you leave it. Do you leave your trash everywhere for someone to deal with or do you straighten everything before you go so that it almost looks like no one has been there...do you take a souvenir with you...do you take notice of those around you? This really creates a balancing act doesn't it? We walk the fine line of wanting to leave an impression on earth before we go to heaven, but certainly do not want to leave our lives in utter chaos for those left behind or worse leave it without anyone knowing we were even here. Everyday is an opportunity to leave your mark on the Earth. How will you leave your mark today? Keep Smiling! :)

A bend in my road...

Today's post reminds me of a song by Green Day. The opening lines are: Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go So make the best of this test, and don't ask why It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right, I hope you had the time of your life. I am at a turning point, a crossroad so to speak. For the last two years, I have worked two jobs, a part-time one being at an assisted living facility that also has a wing for Alzheimer's residents. I have been there for a few years and have learned so much about the end of life process. It is equally as important as the beginning of life entry of birth. I have learned about the different types of dementia and working with the elderly. All of this compiled with developing relationships with family members and staff has given me so many opportunities and lessons in life. As enlightening as the experience has been, sometimes we also need to listen to our inner voice or spirit guides who tell us that it is time to step away. That is what I am doing. I have been promoted at my primary full-time job and with that will come new responsibilities. I also have learned from my mother's death that time is precious and life is fleeting. I haven't had weekends off in over two years. I am going to take some time, re-acquaint myself with myself, my home and family. I will take time, be still and enjoy the small details of this trip around the sun. Looking forward to what new adventures lie ahead. I am taking a leap of faith and trusting my journey! Keep Smiling! :)

Now where did I put that list?

Did you ever have to give a good chunk of your time to something and feel like your life was “on hold”? Then suddenly it’s time to join the living again and you find the unfinished projects you left behind. Sometimes this purposeful procrastination offers some rewards in that what you thought you had to do or go through no longer holds the same importance as it did when you first put it in your “to do” pile. There is suddenly a moment of clarity that helps you to organize your time and your work. I wonder sometimes if this is the universe’s way of having you live in the moment. What good is a “someday” pile or list if you aren’t taking advantage of the time you have right now. I am trying to be better about this, but I am my own worst enemy. I still find myself writing lists in the hopes of organizing my life. For instance, writing this post was on my list of things to do and …well, what do you know… I can checkmark it done off my list! Onto the next item! Keep Smiling! :)

Trusting and taking the scenic route...

I have learned that worrying only stands in my way of learning the lessons of life. As soon as I became still and learned to trust in God, peace entered my heart. Life still throws me curveballs and my life is far from perfect, but my perception has changed. I no longer look back and ask what I coulda, shoulda, woulda done. Instead I realize that each of those steps, struggles and tumbles were supposed to happen in order to get me where I am today. The slightest change in the dynamic and my life would be entirely different and not necessarily better. So as difficult as life seems sometimes, I know that what is happening is ultimately for my higher good. I am on this journey and I trust that I will be guided through it. It’s just up to me to pay attention to the blessings and the lessons along the way. I always preferred the scenic route. Keep Smiling :)

Where there is darkness, there is also light...

For the four long months of watching my mother struggle to survive and during the final weeks of her life, I experienced every emotion a human could possibly feel. There were times of denial, anger, frustration and fear. But there were also times of appreciation, hope, love and peace. What I learned during these weeks will never be forgotten. I learned about myself more than anything. I learned that I am strong because of my faith and trust in God for it brings me comfort. I also surround myself with a support system of friends who provide me with unconditional love, understanding and hope. I learned that other people's problems are not my own. I learned that in the darkest days and in the moments of personal struggle that God's love is always with us. Angels are all around us in the form of a nurse, a doctor, a caregiver, a friend, a co-worker and sometimes a stranger. And all of them lift us out of the darkness and into the light. There is nothing we go through alone in life. I will always miss my sweet mother, and it is because of her and her legacy of love that I choose to live in the light. May I always have the strength to overcome life's obstacles and dark times with faith, hope and love. Keep Smiling! :)

Love, loss and legacy

I haven't been writing lately as my mother is now at the end of her life. As difficult and heartwrenching as this experience is, I am recognizing the blessing we have all been given. We are able to tell her what we want to say, hold her hand, kiss and snuggle her and live in the moment. Many times you do not get that opportunity to say goodbye. Not just because she is my mother, I can honestly say she was the kindest, most gentle, forgiving soul that walked the Earth. In many ways, she was too good for this world. I was beyond blessed to have her for a mother. She will always live in my heart and she made me the person I am today. I will always honor her by being kind, gentle and forgiving. It is her legacy and it will continue even when she goes to her heavenly home. An angel on Earth will soon be an angel in Heaven. Tell those close to you that you love them everyday. Don't let anger into your heart. Time is precious.

Signs

Do you ever pay attention to the signs all around us? I would like to think they are part of Divine Intervention because it seems like whenever you need it a sign will show up. That is, of course, if you can recognize it. Whether it be comforting or inquisitive or just down right silly, try to pay attention to the signs all around you. The other day I was walking back to my car from the grocery store when I noticed a bumper sticker that said "The Ten Commandments are not multiple Choice"...it made me giggle but then I felt like a little kid and very quickly said in my head "Oops sorry Lord!". Today I just saw a very simple sign that read "Be Yourself"! Sounds good to me! Keep your eyes open and Keep Smiling! :)

Giving up the balancing act

I was talking to someone the other day who said "it's just so hard to balance everything". While I agree with that statement, it also made me wonder why we try to balance everything everyday in the first place. After all, not everybody can walk a tightrope or we would be part of the circus. When I think back to the days when my daughter was young, I was so overwhelmed. I was concerned that she was not getting all the food groups each day and that she was not eating a balanced diet. Her pediatrician then asked me "don't look at it in terms of each day, but in the course of what she eats per week, is she getting everything she needs". I began to apply that to my own life and stopped putting so much pressure on myself to get it all done and balanced in a day. Being a Libra who is all about the scales and balance, and a planner this wasn't an easy task. But eventually I got to the point where I could let go of the expections and ideals of society. In doing so I realized that the balance is not with the external stuff but within myself. Giving myself permission to be okay if everything didn't get done or go as planned. I am a much calmer less anxious person as a result and I feel like I am able to deal and cope with things in a better way. Life became more grounded and less restricted. Giving up the balancing act was the best choice I could have made. I will be a spectator at the circus, but no need to be a participant. Keep Smiling! :)

Give yourself the gift of forgiveness

Life is such a strange and wonderful experience. Minute by minute life can change for the good or the bad. The experiences, the emotions and the simple yet intrinsic weaving of it all to create the world in which we live. Life goes by in an instant. The older I get the more I try to deal with the minute by minute instead of the looking back or looking ahead. As difficult as it is to forgive others, it is even more difficult to forgive yourself. I am a work in progress but for today I am trying to be grateful, forgiving and loving. What will you do with your day? Keep Smiling! :)

Color outside the lines and use every crayon in the box

I remember being about five years old sitting on the floor by the coffee table and coloring in my coloring book while my parents would watch television. Being a first born and at the time the only child, I would put such unnecessary pressure on myself to color within the lines. To the point where if I did color outside the lines, I would rip the page out of the coloring book because it wasn't perfect. Fast forward to high school and college when I would take notes in class and later re-write them all over and over again so they would be neat and orderly. Call it OCD or whathaveyou but this is how I remember being until much later in life. Not quite sure when the transition in my thinking happened but I think being a parent certainly helped me to see that life is not perfect, we are not perfect. I gave myself permission to just be me. We are imperfect creatures living in an imperfect world. It's okay that we don't have it all, it's okay to make mistakes and it's okay to take chances and fail. So what happens if you color outside the lines? Does the world end? Nope... you end up with a more colorful page. Enjoy everything about life and its experiences and the journey will be more fulfilling than you can ever imagine. Keep Smiling! :)

Song of the day

Don't you just love that every day there is a song that can be deemed the "Song of the Day". When I worked in an office years ago, my co-worker and I would start the day with the question " what is the song of the day?" And of course, we would pick something upbeat and happy and inevitably by the end of the day the "song of the day" would be changed to something like Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Train". But it lightened our mood and keep us in giggles through what would normally be another mundane day at work. What is your "song of the day" today? Mine is "Kumbaya"...don't ask...enough said! Keep Smiling! :)

Create Positivity

Life is scary, messy and sometimes inconvenient. The older I get the more I realize it is all about being positive. Who you surround yourself with, eating good food, breathing deeply and even the music you listen to all affect your attitude. Every day when I leave to go to work, I make sure I look up at the sky, hear the sounds of the birds and notice nature. I listen to my favorite music mix in the car which helps any road rage that might creep up on me. I surround myself not with expensive things but things that mean a lot to me. Pretty note paper, colorful pens, stones and seashells from the sea. I make an effort to be positive and ride the waves instead of drowning in bad feelings. I know that for some this is easier said than done, but even a very small step towards changing things in your life is a positive step that will impact you in a good way. The recent happenings in Boston as well as things that happen every day in the world can easily bring your spirit down and fester hate. Try not to let that happen and instead be the positive change. Pay it forward and the world will suddenly not seem like such a bad place to be after all! Keep Smiling! :)

Surreal

There are no words that I can write to describe the horror and tragedy that still continues in my state of Massachusetts except perhaps the word "surreal". What does amaze me is that within just five days we have gone from tragedy to identifying the suspects and in process of capturing the remaining one. Praying for all those affected and hoping that this nightmare only makes us stronger. Hold those you love a little closer and live life fully each day. Keep Smiling! :)

Lucky Number Seven

Today my husband was at the hospital having a procedure to check on the stent in his brain due to an unruptured aneurysm. I dropped him off and told him to say hi to Angie. He said Angie? I said yes Angi O'gram which was the procedure he was having and I tried to make him laugh during a very anxious time for him. He had discovered he had an aneurysm when his mom had three rupture and they recommended all the children and grandchildren get tested. During this testing, he discovered he had an aneurysm or bubble as we refer to it in his brain. After coiling failed, a stent was put in and today was checking to see if the stent was doing it's job and it was. There were no complications and he was given the go ahead to not have to come back for seven years! I cannot tell you in words how this made our family feel as this had been an ongoing concern since 2005. What I have learned through it all is that my husband is an amazing person. I have been with him for almost thirty years. He was my first boyfriend and if I have anything to say about it, he will be my last. You don't realize when you are young and saying the vows before God and family that you truly will live each and every one of them. For better or worse, for sickness or in health...and as we like to add...to be a pain in the butt. My husband says I am excelling in that vow! We have almost been through it all, and I am sure there is much more to go through together and we are just thrilled to have seven years reprieve from worrying about this speed bump on our road of life together. Keep Smiling! :)

Kindness heals all wounds

As we begin to work towards picking ourselves up from the Boston tragedy, I hear more of the kindness that occurred during and afterward that is happily overshadowing the evilness of it all. From the rescue workers to the good samaritans who immediately responded at the scene, to the fact that the Boston hospitals were able to take on the victims who were injured and care for them, to the volunteers who steadily donate blood for those injured I am filled with great hope that this horrific tragedy will bring about something good in the world. Clearly not the intention of the person who wanted to instill fear and harm in all of us. While it will never replace those lost or the physical and emotional trauma of those injured and their families, I am proud and happy to be part of this state of Massachusetts. We are a strong group of people and we take care of our own. While visiting my mother at the rehabilitation hospital, I also noticed the kindness surrounding her healing process. The gentle nurse who assisted to her needs. Another nurse's daughter who not only visits my mother and speaks Polish to her, but brings her treats to eat. My mother's elderly cousin who brings her Polish food and stops by just to hold her hand. I just know that all of this combined with modern medicine is healing my mother's body and her soul. Whether you are experiencing the effects of a public tragedy or a personal struggle, let us continue to bring more kindness into the world. Keep Smiling! :)

Terrorism close to home

The bombing that occurred yesterday during the Boston marathon was a horrific act of terrorism. It brought back all the emotions of the 9-11 attacks. Boston is only 45 minutes away so that made it equally as stressful. I also personally knew of some folks that were running in the marathon. Once New York City and Washington D.C. were put on high alert I thought of our friends who were vacationing in Washington D.C. As I said when I started this blog, I try to find the lesson and the blessing in every situation and the humor. There is no humor in acts of terrorism. All we can do is put out as much goodness as we can in the world to try to counteract it. What does not kill us makes us stronger. We will rise from this and be united. Hold your loved ones close and count your blessings every day because you just never know. Thank you for reading my blog.

The Breakfast Club

While out for breakfast with my husband, we noticed a group of cars in the parking lot. As each one approached and parked, an elderly gentleman got out and greeted the others with a hearty handshake to those already waiting. This group of friends were meeting for breakfast. It got me thinking as to what they must have experienced in their lifetime. Did they grow up in the same neighborhood? Were they hometown boys who met when they were serving our country in the wars? Were they co-workers who after retiring continued to meet up? In any event, it made me smile to see this "breakfast club" and I wondered to myself who I might be having breakfast with in years to come. Keep those relationships going and Keep Smiling! :)

Shaving Cream

While driving home, i was listening to Casey Kasem and the Top 40 on the radio when apparently they were doing the Top 40 oldest records and this one came on...Shaving Cream by Benny Bell. It was definitely interesting to listen to and did make me giggle. I will let the lyrics speak for themselves...Here are the lyrics to "Shaving Cream" I have a sad story to tell you It may hurt your feelings a bit Last night as I walked into my bathroom I stepped in a big pile of ... Shaving cream, be nice and clean Shave every day and you'll always look keen I think I'll break off with my girlfriend Her antics are queer, I'll admit Each time I say, "Darling, I love you" She tells me that I'm full of ... Shaving cream, be nice and clean Shave every day and you'll always look keen Our baby fell out of the window You'd think that her head would be split But good luck was with her that morning She fell in a barrel of ... Shaving cream, be nice and clean Shave every day and you'll always look keen My old lady died in a bathtub She died from a terrible fit In order to fulfill her wishes She was buried in six feet of ... Shaving cream, be nice and clean Shave every day and you'll always look keen When I was in France with the army One day I looked inside my kit I thought i would find me a sandwich But the darn thing was loaded with ... Shaving cream, be nice and clean Shave every day and you'll always look keen And now folks my story is ended I think it is time I should quit And if anyone of you feel offended Push your head in a bucket of ... Shaving cream, be nice and clean Shave every day and you'll always look keen Keep Smiling! :)

What the heck is GORP ?

At my full time job, there are about 25 people in our department and we are always super busy. We take turns bringing snacks and leaving them on the file cabinet by the window. It is always a bright spot of the day when you get the email about a treat at the window. Sometimes it can be healthy snack like veggies with dip or cucumber sandwiches while other times it is pure unadulterated sugar coma time. Then you know when it is deadline time because...dare I say it...that is when the Dunkin Donuts magically appear at the window as well as the pizza lunch. Good thing the walk to and from the parking lot is lengthy so we can work some of the calories off! Today we got an email that simply said "GORP at the window"! Huh? What the heck is GORP? Well not having been a girl scout, I would not have been able to tell you that GORP stands for Granola, Oats, Raisins and Peanuts or in other words a sweet and salty snack. Today it was whatever my manager must have had left over from Easter candy mixed with Chex Mix. But the fact that the majority of our department is women (there are only two men), the sweet and salty snack was well appreciated. So much so that there was actually a line to get the GORP. I told my director that if they ever needed to gather us all together quickly all they would have to do is mention "food at the window" and we all crawl out of our gray cubes and seek the light that leads us to our snack at the window. I guess you definitely learn something new every day, even if it is a silly thing called GORP! Keep Smiling! :)

Birds, Flowers, Rain and Laughter

Today I started my day by being serenaded by the birds in the trees near my home. The combination of that and the somewhat gloomy rainy day made me smile. It may seem weird but I enjoy cloudy gloomy days and could certainly live in gloomy United Kingdom with no problem. I love sunny days too but they usually give me a headache. While I was backing out of my driveway I happened to notice one daffodil in my garden. It made me happy that Spring has finally sprung and gave me hope that we are now on our way to the season of nice weather. Laughter came while listening to my favorite radio station hosts tell a story that had me laughing the whole entire length of my commute to work. Yes I was the woman driving and laughing hysterically to myself. Its a good thing. Keep Smiling! :)

It's all in the details...

I am one of those detail orientated people and sometimes the attention to detail can get quite overwhelming. However, lately I have embraced the fact that I notice the smallest details of everyday life. It is the small moments and details that matter more than the big ones. Like the fact that while visiting my mother in the rehabilitation hospital, I had brought her a pint of rasberries which are her favorite fruit. In that small moment as she savored each rasberry, we both could forget where she was and why she was there. Last night I saw a man that looked just like Santa Claus. Then there was a day when I drove out of my driveway only to see a goat following a woman jogging (I live in a suburban area not rural). Then further down the road I had to wait because there were wild turkeys crossing the road and then one came at me doing some silly turkey dance. Silly but enough to make me giggle. Usually during the course of a busy day, something will catch my eye and make me smile or laugh. Life becomes more manageable and more interesting when you notice the details. Be sure to notice them. Keep Smiling! :)

Drive Safely

There is a soon to be 101 year old woman who resides at the assisted living where I work part time. I love listening to her stories from her life. Can you even imagine what she has seen in her 100 years! I also get a kick out of her witty comebacks. For instance, they do not have salt at the dinner tables they have salt substitute. One day while at the desk I hear her very loudly say "I am 100 years old and if I want salt I will have salt!" Amen sister...at that age everything is icing on the cake and you should be able to have whatever you want. I can only imagine what our generation will be like in the assisted living of our future. Give me my IV of pinot grigio and turn up the music...Aerosmith is on! LOL Every night after dinner, the 100 year old stops at the desk and says "Drive Safely" to which I reply "You too" referring to her and her walker...she smiles and giggles and goes on her way. And I drive home with a smile on my face. Keep Smiling! :)

Vampires don't smile

In a routine doctor's visit today, I had to have some blood drawn. So off to the lab I went to see the lovely lab lady who never has difficulty getting my somewhat difficult veins to contribute to the cause. She is so nice and usually hums a tune while she works. Unfortunately it was not her day to work and the door opened and this very cranky woman came out and said "get in". Sheesh...someone didn't have their bran muffin this morning. So she goes on to be rude and cranky and asks me which arm I want her to use, to which I reply "My right arm...it's my LUCKY arm...haha!" Nothing...not a smirk or a giggle...nothing...Sheesh! So she does her thing and at least to my benefit she was good at what she does so it didn't take long to get the blood and I was on my way. I said "Have a nice day!"...nothing...Oh brother! I checked my cell phone and I had received a voicemail from my husband who said "Sorry to bother you while you were with the vampire..." It made me laugh and then I quickly concluded...Vampires don't smile...maybe she was afraid I would see her pointy teeth! Hmm and we were in a room without windows...so no sunshine could get in...lol! Maybe next time I will bring her some garlic! Keep Smiling! :)

Be in the moment

I work part time at an assisted living facility that has an Alzheimer's wing. One thing that I remember vividly from my training is that folks with Alzheimers and other dementia live in what we refer to as the hippy side of the brain. The other side that normally tells you to not do this or that because of whatever reason no longer exists. As sad as the disease is, the folks who have it live freely without barriers. The best advice I got was to "live in the moment" with them. It isn't up to me to tell them what they are thinking is wrong or to remind them that they asked me twenty times if there was going to be a movie tonight. I am being invited into their world and I am happy to be there. This part-time job has taught me so much. It has taught me patience. It has taught me tolerance. It has taught me forgiveness. To be a kind voice, a helping hand and share a smile and a laugh. The elderly are people just like us who had lives, families and jobs. And through it all, I have been honored and privileged to be part of the end of their journey. Life in all its stages is precious. Keep Smiling! :)

Lessons from the sea

I love the ocean. The moment I am even near it and can smell the sea air I am a different person. Something about the salty water, the air and the sand washing over glass and stones smoothing them with every wave just brings a sense of tranquility to me. I love walking the beach finding treasures of seashells, stones and seaglass. There is something both haunting and healing about the sea. The combination is soothing and reminds me that no matter how difficult a situation may be that with time the edges will be smoothed over and the memory more tolerable. My favorite quote from John F. Kennedy is " We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch - we are going back from whence we came." Indeed. Keep Smiling! :)

As long as I have my lipstick, everything is fine!

My mother has been hospitalized with a multitude of complex issues over the last three months. So you can imagine we have all gone through every emotion and level of stress possible. Between the comings and goings of medical staff and whatnot you could not even think there was room for laughter. But there was. My mother in all her suffering and anxiety over being hospitalized and hooked up to machines and IVs had one major request. "Bring me my lipstick!" I had to bust out in laughter because as long as she had her lipstick, everything was going to be fine. So we brought her the lipstick and it had the effect of making a scary situation a little bit easier for her. Who knew lipstick had such power! Keep Smiling! :)

Laughter is good medicine!

Welcome to my blog! Life is crazy, sometimes messy and a roller coaster of a ride. I am hoping that by sharing some of my stories with you that I may bring a smile or hopefully a giggle to your day! I try to find the humor in every situation because as I am sure you would agree, I would much rather spend my time laughing than crying. So please visit often and share your comments with me. Keep Smiling! :)