Now where did I put that list?

Did you ever have to give a good chunk of your time to something and feel like your life was “on hold”? Then suddenly it’s time to join the living again and you find the unfinished projects you left behind. Sometimes this purposeful procrastination offers some rewards in that what you thought you had to do or go through no longer holds the same importance as it did when you first put it in your “to do” pile. There is suddenly a moment of clarity that helps you to organize your time and your work. I wonder sometimes if this is the universe’s way of having you live in the moment. What good is a “someday” pile or list if you aren’t taking advantage of the time you have right now. I am trying to be better about this, but I am my own worst enemy. I still find myself writing lists in the hopes of organizing my life. For instance, writing this post was on my list of things to do and …well, what do you know… I can checkmark it done off my list! Onto the next item! Keep Smiling! :)

Trusting and taking the scenic route...

I have learned that worrying only stands in my way of learning the lessons of life. As soon as I became still and learned to trust in God, peace entered my heart. Life still throws me curveballs and my life is far from perfect, but my perception has changed. I no longer look back and ask what I coulda, shoulda, woulda done. Instead I realize that each of those steps, struggles and tumbles were supposed to happen in order to get me where I am today. The slightest change in the dynamic and my life would be entirely different and not necessarily better. So as difficult as life seems sometimes, I know that what is happening is ultimately for my higher good. I am on this journey and I trust that I will be guided through it. It’s just up to me to pay attention to the blessings and the lessons along the way. I always preferred the scenic route. Keep Smiling :)

Where there is darkness, there is also light...

For the four long months of watching my mother struggle to survive and during the final weeks of her life, I experienced every emotion a human could possibly feel. There were times of denial, anger, frustration and fear. But there were also times of appreciation, hope, love and peace. What I learned during these weeks will never be forgotten. I learned about myself more than anything. I learned that I am strong because of my faith and trust in God for it brings me comfort. I also surround myself with a support system of friends who provide me with unconditional love, understanding and hope. I learned that other people's problems are not my own. I learned that in the darkest days and in the moments of personal struggle that God's love is always with us. Angels are all around us in the form of a nurse, a doctor, a caregiver, a friend, a co-worker and sometimes a stranger. And all of them lift us out of the darkness and into the light. There is nothing we go through alone in life. I will always miss my sweet mother, and it is because of her and her legacy of love that I choose to live in the light. May I always have the strength to overcome life's obstacles and dark times with faith, hope and love. Keep Smiling! :)

Love, loss and legacy

I haven't been writing lately as my mother is now at the end of her life. As difficult and heartwrenching as this experience is, I am recognizing the blessing we have all been given. We are able to tell her what we want to say, hold her hand, kiss and snuggle her and live in the moment. Many times you do not get that opportunity to say goodbye. Not just because she is my mother, I can honestly say she was the kindest, most gentle, forgiving soul that walked the Earth. In many ways, she was too good for this world. I was beyond blessed to have her for a mother. She will always live in my heart and she made me the person I am today. I will always honor her by being kind, gentle and forgiving. It is her legacy and it will continue even when she goes to her heavenly home. An angel on Earth will soon be an angel in Heaven. Tell those close to you that you love them everyday. Don't let anger into your heart. Time is precious.